his loyalty.

i don't ever want someone to cheat on me. i also don't want a close friend to start "talking" to one of my ex boyfriends. and surely don't want to give up on something that i have a strong feeling that it could possibly work. he told me that he was like his brother and he wouldn't feel comfortable. what could i possibly say back to that? so i said i understand and i respect your decision. but really i don't want to. i don't want to understand because the one he is protecting hasn't been so loyal to me. actually he was just "talking" to one of my aces. yes taking a step back to ask WHAT THE HELL is okay.
i've asked friends and they all say the same thing. "if you really like him tell him." i told him, which is like way out of chartacter for me and the loyalty struck me like a random bolt of lightning the hits only one part of me. actually the smallest part that hurts the most.
the bad thing is that i found myself wanting to get to know this kid. it no longer was just a physical attraction. yeah he is easy on the eyes but he is more than that he is someone that actually has my mind off the one that i'm falling out of love with. but there, for me, will always be a problem. in times like these do you ever think somebody on a higher plane is pulling the strings? like they put you close enough to think you are about to get it then they snatch you back. that's something that i'm starting to believe more and more as the days go on.
this is like hissy fit time. DAMMiT! i want him and he isn't even forbidden, just loyal.