Don't you kinda wish that you could be more personal? You kinda wish that you didn't have to rely on technology to release feelings. I wanna have to have the courage to say it out loud although I'd much rather text. I know i just contradicted myself. But my friend Dana ALWAYS takes my thoughts from my head and puts it down first (by the way she is a genius).
Technology is kinda ruining our way of life. We have ungrudgingly given away our sense of privacy, by using these "friend" sites. We use them to keep in touch with old friends, stay up to date with the present ones, and look for new ones. We then place unnecessariness on our pages to make us seem friendly and approachable by the on lookers. So some tend to portray a certain image of being cooler, smarter, or a better person when really they are a nobody pretending.
I kinda want everything to go back to how it used to be. Starting out as innocent fun. Not really having to worry about the phonies, the babies, the bullshit. i want it to be pure again. Us to be pure again....
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
bamboozled.
ever seen the movie bamboozled? another spike lee joint. and if you haven't seen it please watch it because it touches on things that nobody has really captured in a way where the youth will watch it.
the topic is minstrel shows and the length a "nigga" will go to make a dollar. making fun at the hardship that our people had to overcome to get a chance to be on t.v, movies, plays, etc. it is 2007 and to some degree i believe that we are still a modern day minstrel show, just with out the black face. do we not sing and dance for the white man's dollar? if you were offered $1 million right now to perform black face and sing in front of a white audience would you not?
did you know that that we were called coons? there is a coon's automotive. i can't see myself EVER taking a car from them much less buying one. we were made fun of, disrespected, abused, killed, no scratched that murdered, and now we think that we have evolved. we haven't we still niggas in people's eyes. yes times have changed but the raising of children in some house hold hasn't.
i feel for the generation after us. we have a people have to learn about our past to better the future. people i fear that if we aren't careful we can be a modern day minstrel show. maybe no black face but something along the lines of that metaphorically. i don't want to sound like a conspiracy person blaming the "man" for everything because i do believe most unfair treatment we bring on ourselves, only to get mad when it becomes an inconvenience or we feel embarrassed in front of another race.
please lets us try to up lift and empower and instead of complaining about it do something about it. bring to the attention of the mass media. show your creative side make an independent film, make a graphic design. do something. it all starts with an example.
the topic is minstrel shows and the length a "nigga" will go to make a dollar. making fun at the hardship that our people had to overcome to get a chance to be on t.v, movies, plays, etc. it is 2007 and to some degree i believe that we are still a modern day minstrel show, just with out the black face. do we not sing and dance for the white man's dollar? if you were offered $1 million right now to perform black face and sing in front of a white audience would you not?
did you know that that we were called coons? there is a coon's automotive. i can't see myself EVER taking a car from them much less buying one. we were made fun of, disrespected, abused, killed, no scratched that murdered, and now we think that we have evolved. we haven't we still niggas in people's eyes. yes times have changed but the raising of children in some house hold hasn't.
i feel for the generation after us. we have a people have to learn about our past to better the future. people i fear that if we aren't careful we can be a modern day minstrel show. maybe no black face but something along the lines of that metaphorically. i don't want to sound like a conspiracy person blaming the "man" for everything because i do believe most unfair treatment we bring on ourselves, only to get mad when it becomes an inconvenience or we feel embarrassed in front of another race.
please lets us try to up lift and empower and instead of complaining about it do something about it. bring to the attention of the mass media. show your creative side make an independent film, make a graphic design. do something. it all starts with an example.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
yo.
new years bring new lies. everyone makes a new year's resolution and forgets about in a month or less. the funny thing is, i made one too. i wrote it down, made a video recording, and everything. but the trip part is that i haven't told anyone, and i don't plan to. why would i? aren't you supposed to make your resolution come true? i don't want help so i'm going to try for myself.
new years bring new attitudes. people change or claim they are changing. they say "it's '08 blah blah blah..." like they changed for real. if your a bitch your a bitch. if you are a good friend then you are a good friend. people don't change because the year changes. i think people just get more comfortable with letting their true colors come out. although that isn't always a bad thing more times then not people start to show the worst.
new years bring new opportunities. new niggas new everything. am i ready for the "newness"?
new years bring new attitudes. people change or claim they are changing. they say "it's '08 blah blah blah..." like they changed for real. if your a bitch your a bitch. if you are a good friend then you are a good friend. people don't change because the year changes. i think people just get more comfortable with letting their true colors come out. although that isn't always a bad thing more times then not people start to show the worst.
new years bring new opportunities. new niggas new everything. am i ready for the "newness"?
Friday, November 30, 2007
hmm. thoughts.
i'm ready for it all. i want somebody to be there for me and the feeling can be mutual. why does it all have to be so complicated? where i'm boys/men approach you and make you feel like they WANT to pursue you. here is like they want you to find them. they want the female to make the extra effort but when they know deep down that they found a good one they push her away. why do boys do that?
i want something with longevity. something that i don't have to worry about silly shit because in the long run i'm what he needs and he is what i need. i was thinking that movies aren't really realistic. think about it... boy meets girl, boy plays girl out, girl returns the favor, they both reach an epiphany about one another, they fall in love, and BOOM the magic happens. what relationship worked out like that? none that i have been in. ugh.
its has also come to my attention that girls these days are getting desperate. like i know i want a relationship, but i want a meaningful on. i don't want one that will result in the other person feeling trapped. that seems to be everybody's M.O. like they want who they want and nobody else matters. the train is gonna run right over anything that stands on the track. people get hurt, attitudes change, everything just goes haywire. but for what for some extra attention? just to stick around after being dismissed? it is sad and i don't like it.
everything around me is going into a spiral of awkwardness. i'm over here beasting on everybody and even the ones that i love because i got hurt. i got caught in the crossfire and what the hell do i get left with? zip, zilch, nada. again ugh.
chris brown is sexy and i think we would make a perfect couple...lol. this christmas was GREAT!
the bee movie, also wonderful.
a must see if it hasn't already been seen.
i want something with longevity. something that i don't have to worry about silly shit because in the long run i'm what he needs and he is what i need. i was thinking that movies aren't really realistic. think about it... boy meets girl, boy plays girl out, girl returns the favor, they both reach an epiphany about one another, they fall in love, and BOOM the magic happens. what relationship worked out like that? none that i have been in. ugh.
its has also come to my attention that girls these days are getting desperate. like i know i want a relationship, but i want a meaningful on. i don't want one that will result in the other person feeling trapped. that seems to be everybody's M.O. like they want who they want and nobody else matters. the train is gonna run right over anything that stands on the track. people get hurt, attitudes change, everything just goes haywire. but for what for some extra attention? just to stick around after being dismissed? it is sad and i don't like it.
everything around me is going into a spiral of awkwardness. i'm over here beasting on everybody and even the ones that i love because i got hurt. i got caught in the crossfire and what the hell do i get left with? zip, zilch, nada. again ugh.
chris brown is sexy and i think we would make a perfect couple...lol. this christmas was GREAT!
the bee movie, also wonderful.
a must see if it hasn't already been seen.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
thoughts derived from boredom.
hmmm where should we begin? well i've been doing some thinking while i sit here bored to tears, forced to assess the life. the birthday is about to be here and why am i not suprised that my excitement level is at a whopping low. i think the highlight of my day will be the actual process of getting drunk. no driving will be done by me after that, not until i sober up. but you all should enjoy the after effects... so much more fun to be around.
eh...blah with the like people. the dilemma hasn't changed but since i don't know what to do about it i'm just gonna wait it out. why does it have to be so hard? i realize that this is such a small world. everybody knows everybody. damn. whatever.
boys, i have come to the conclusion, suck. yeah yeah yeah. when you want them they want you be there is always "complications". ugh. blah.
eh...blah with the like people. the dilemma hasn't changed but since i don't know what to do about it i'm just gonna wait it out. why does it have to be so hard? i realize that this is such a small world. everybody knows everybody. damn. whatever.
boys, i have come to the conclusion, suck. yeah yeah yeah. when you want them they want you be there is always "complications". ugh. blah.
his loyalty.
i don't ever want someone to cheat on me. i also don't want a close friend to start "talking" to one of my ex boyfriends. and surely don't want to give up on something that i have a strong feeling that it could possibly work. he told me that he was like his brother and he wouldn't feel comfortable. what could i possibly say back to that? so i said i understand and i respect your decision. but really i don't want to. i don't want to understand because the one he is protecting hasn't been so loyal to me. actually he was just "talking" to one of my aces. yes taking a step back to ask WHAT THE HELL is okay.
i've asked friends and they all say the same thing. "if you really like him tell him." i told him, which is like way out of chartacter for me and the loyalty struck me like a random bolt of lightning the hits only one part of me. actually the smallest part that hurts the most.
the bad thing is that i found myself wanting to get to know this kid. it no longer was just a physical attraction. yeah he is easy on the eyes but he is more than that he is someone that actually has my mind off the one that i'm falling out of love with. but there, for me, will always be a problem. in times like these do you ever think somebody on a higher plane is pulling the strings? like they put you close enough to think you are about to get it then they snatch you back. that's something that i'm starting to believe more and more as the days go on.
this is like hissy fit time. DAMMiT! i want him and he isn't even forbidden, just loyal.
i've asked friends and they all say the same thing. "if you really like him tell him." i told him, which is like way out of chartacter for me and the loyalty struck me like a random bolt of lightning the hits only one part of me. actually the smallest part that hurts the most.
the bad thing is that i found myself wanting to get to know this kid. it no longer was just a physical attraction. yeah he is easy on the eyes but he is more than that he is someone that actually has my mind off the one that i'm falling out of love with. but there, for me, will always be a problem. in times like these do you ever think somebody on a higher plane is pulling the strings? like they put you close enough to think you are about to get it then they snatch you back. that's something that i'm starting to believe more and more as the days go on.
this is like hissy fit time. DAMMiT! i want him and he isn't even forbidden, just loyal.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
time.
"time will tell,,," they say. what am i waiting for this time? "patience is a virture..." they say. i don't have the luxury of possessing this quality. "tomorrow isn't promised, live each day like it's your last..." they say. but what about the first two sayings? don't they present a problem if you want to live like the last one?
what people choose to live their life by strictly depends on where they are in their lives. recently people have passed and the mourners would like to say live each day like it's your last but do they mean it? all the time in the world can't get you back the time lost. but what is there worth waiting for? most likely the answer that rolls off so many people's lips is love. i love someone and i have a strong like for some one. i also am falling out of love, or maybe that thin line between love and hate is slowly being crossed. i don't want to waste time hating who i love. that takes energy and time that isn't promised.
if i were to leave this earth tonight would people be happy with the way things are right now? i have tried to keep all loose ends with people to either get restiched or be cut off. my birthday is next week on the 13th, and i realized that i'm not happy. i'm about to be 18 and it should mark a turning point into adulthood but i'm not happy. i don't have anymore time to be a kid. i don't have any time to wait around for love because reality has been waiting around for me....
what people choose to live their life by strictly depends on where they are in their lives. recently people have passed and the mourners would like to say live each day like it's your last but do they mean it? all the time in the world can't get you back the time lost. but what is there worth waiting for? most likely the answer that rolls off so many people's lips is love. i love someone and i have a strong like for some one. i also am falling out of love, or maybe that thin line between love and hate is slowly being crossed. i don't want to waste time hating who i love. that takes energy and time that isn't promised.
if i were to leave this earth tonight would people be happy with the way things are right now? i have tried to keep all loose ends with people to either get restiched or be cut off. my birthday is next week on the 13th, and i realized that i'm not happy. i'm about to be 18 and it should mark a turning point into adulthood but i'm not happy. i don't have anymore time to be a kid. i don't have any time to wait around for love because reality has been waiting around for me....
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